19 January 2009

Reaction: The Times' Reviews

I just got around to reading the Times' reviews of two prominent films from this year's season, films about which I feel very strongly: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Gran Torino. As I have stated - outright in my official review of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and outright in my guerilla-style, tagged-on review of Gran Torino - these films were not good: definitely not the important works of cinema that so many other film-goers, -viewers, and -reviewers have claimed and paraded them to be. En suite, I was expecting nothing less than similar - at the very least half-hearted praise for each, praise scrounged for and based on the few redeeming qualities that each film has - but, no, the Times in a bizarre and startling turn of events has decided to shout from the rooftops high praise for each, praise which I have an extremely hard time justifying and praise which, despite its overall intent, does seem suspiciously coded at intervals with quick jabs and punches that to a more suspecting reader could seem even quietly rebellious/subversive (of the over-lording positivity of the reviews). Whether or not there be any truth in such a matter is clearly beyond me, but whether or not the matter may be let stand without the appropriate "WTF?!" reaction is clearly in my hands - an opportunity of which I will make quick work right now: WTF?!!!!? Seriously, you guys, how can you even stand to use words that even broach descriptions like "masterful" or "exquisite" when reviewing these filmic works as wholes? Their few virtues may only be called virtues by virtue of the fact that everything else about them is so embarrassingly terrible. So, I must ask you, as I pointedly asked Mr. Eastwood in my quick review of his joke Gran Torino, "Are you joking me?" (And I ask in earnest because, like last time, I am laughing).

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